#409: Brené Brown — Striving versus Self-Acceptance, Saving Marriages, and More

Sometimes, this world is tough because we shame and diminish ordinary ... We chase extraordinary moments instead of being grateful for ordinary moments until hard shit happens. Then, in the face of the really hard stuff—illness, death, loss—the only thing we're begging for is a normal moment.

There's only one real question that matters: 'What are you unwilling to feel?'

You can be forgiving of whatever you're experiencing in your body, in your psyche, or in the moment while still putting in place steps to improve whatever it is you're hoping to improve. It's possible to do both.

It's so much easier to offload pain than to feel pain.

I don't think you can truly change for the better in a lasting, meaningful way unless it's driven by self-acceptance.

What differentiates us as a social species is the need to be seen and known and loved, and the need to see and know and love others.

95% of what I see that people call pathology is armor—it's behaviors and ways of thinking that you've developed to protect yourself from being hurt.

Curiosity is the superpower for the second half of our lives—it keeps us learning, it keeps us asking questions, and it increases our self-awareness.

If I had a dollar for every interview I did with someone in their late-20s or early-30s who got on the engineer, lawyer, or doctor path because that was the leading escalator for smart people at the time who's now depressed and hates what they do, never realizing they could be a shoe designer, casting director, or microphone builder... If I had a dollar for every one of those, I'd be set for life.

Keep your shadows in front of you—they can only take you down from behind.

Everyone I know who's waited tables is a better human being.

Do not ever date a guy who's a dick to a waiter.

My sobriety is really a superpower. I would attribute my marriage success, how I've raised my kids, and my career success to the fact that I'm sober. When shit gets hard, I stay in it.

Emotion and cognition—undefined and unexplored—drive every decision you make. You either develop self-awareness or these things control you.

Perfectionism is not only a defense mechanism; it's the worst procrastination tool in the world.